Theres so much to complain about, be mad about, be sad about, to cry for. Right now I don't want to. The world is so chaotic and stressful. People dieing, innocent children suffering, so many displaced due to hardship, natural disaster and criminal intent. We have so many reasons to say bump this and take pills or slit our wrists vertically not horizontally. Horizontally would be a cry for help. The idea would be to end it all out of desperation and despair.
Right now I am just grateful that things are not as bad for me and mine as they could be. Things go wrong but it never gets too bad. I want to thank my mom and dad for being irresponsible and getting pregnant at 15 and 18 respectfully. Thanks for being responsible and having me. I know my mom gave up her military dreams to take care of me and my brother. You did a great job. Dad you taught me forgiveness. I'll use that skill forever. And even though he gets on my last nerve being impulsive and inconsiderate, thanks for my brother too. And dad thanks for falling for her. The additional siblings are some of the best gifts I ever got. I love them all equally. Even the one older than me. Love will always be stronger than blood. More to love and be loved by.
I want to thank my children's father for my three beautiful boys. It wasn't easy and for those who picked up slack while I got it together, Thank You. They are the glue that holds me together. I had more than one opportunity to give up. I promise the pain of pancreatitis will make you want to. My life was so off track that if not for them I probably would have. My children have centered me. While taking the life I dreamed of, they gave me a new one that still fits a lot of what I wanted and more things I didn't know I wanted, but couldn't imagine going without. For me motherhood offered clarity and resolve.
I want to thank my fathers mother for teaching me how to patiently love unconditionally. Through all the mistakes of your children and grandchildren, you smiled and continued to be there without complaint. Your love is the love closest to what I'd imagine a God's to be. You are the most beautiful person I will ever know. Never a strong hand, always a strong heart. You taught me more than I could ever explain. Even though our beliefs differ, you dedication to your beliefs and resiliency to adjusting them gave me strength to hold fast to mine. Thank you so much.
I want to thank my mother's mother for her zest for life. Her disbelief in living life for anyone but self. When you do for others its not because they need you to, but because you genuinely want to help. No regrets. That's how you live. I walk like you and I walk in a footprint that gives me motivation to see the brighter side, the lighter side, the side to bask in. Nothing's too bad.
I thank my youngest uncle for his fight and protection. My youngest aunt for her humor and business sense. My oldest aunt for her strong armed tolerance and my uncle who passed for making me understand the world does not revolve around me. In his own way he made me never take anything personal. Most things people do are a reflection of who they are and their pain, not you. I want to thank all my ancestors before me for teaching the one's who taught me. And all the ones after me for hopefully carrying on what I'll teach them.
I want to thank the people who have no reason to, but choose to love and have me in their life. Thank you for having my back and making sure home is a place I want to come to. Thank you for picking me up in the middle of the night when MARTA is not late, but early. Thank you for struggling with me and my kids when we had nothing and were depending on someone else for survival. Thank you for rides to the store. A laugh every now and then, moral support. Well wishes.
I love me. I love my life. I'm content. And since happiness and contentment are states of mind and not an ideal situation or ideal place, I can be here regardless of how the world is, what my neighbors are doing, what I do and don't have, or where I am versus where I want to be. Thank You.
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