"Big Bad Wolf"

The other day I overheard a woman say, “I hate people who wear white shoes under dark bottoms. It looks so trashy.” I thought to myself, “Yeah lady, I’m sure those people hate people who start off sentences with “I hate people who…”” Then I realized it’s me who strongly dislikes people like her. Fact is that I don’t like to see people with light shoes and dark bottoms either, but I don’t hate people for it. I don’t think its right for me to punish people with my hate because of their fashion sense. It’s not going to make the public school system a better bureaucracy if they wear dark bottoms with dark shoes.  This applies to any and everything.

For instance, I can be pissed at Octo-mom forever that she had all those kids under her mom’s roof and can’t take care of them. But fact is that I left my husband out the blue and moved in on my mom selfishly too. Then, as if only to make matters worse, I got knocked up with twins when I didn’t have a job, any money, and I was still living with her. Am I better than octo-mom because my kids all have the same father and last name? No! I’m just as blessed as she is to have a mom that stuck it out and helped when she had every reason not to. Granted, it was a lot easier for me to get it together with only three as opposed to the 14 octo-mom has. But that’s her cross to bear. I think all my children should be here.

Then there’s peoples morbid hate for women like Anna Nichole Smith. Come on. It was pretty obvious what Anna was doing. I don’t have a problem with a woman who has established her worth and then went on to Sugardaddy.com to find her soul mate. Who are you to tell her she’s priceless when she’s told you she’s a dime? And I can’t feel sorry for any man who went on to Sugardaddy.com looking for “love”. He’s already established his value. Who are you to tell him he deserves someone who loves him for him when he’s told you he’s an atm. Think about it people; are women really mad at Anna for taking some old guys money. They don’t even know him. They’re mad because Anna was enjoying all the shit they couldn’t because they settled for someone they used to enjoy sleeping with. HAH!! Now that the passions gone they wish they had the money to compensate. Men are just as bad. They’re too busy thinking, “Man, if I had money like that…” to realize that Anna didn’t dig for gold. I mean it’s not like she dressed up and pretended to be a “Michele Obama” then went after the president.

Fact is that if I want to hate anyone, I should start with myself. I mean, it takes nothing to hate others. But it takes a whole lot of honesty and tears to hate yourself. For instance, I use people. No; really I do. At a young age I identified a stable relationship as one where the parties use each other for whatever reasons. As long as no one “feels” more used than the other then the relationship will continue to be stable. Think about it. Isn’t that what most of the arguments boil down to? Does “We’re not making love anymore” not compute to {you’re not using me for sex anymore and therefore bringing imbalance to usage scales and probably giving value to someone else}. The disharmony in the relationship doesn’t come from the cheating itself; it comes from not sleeping with the partner. It’s the imbalance in the usage scales that bring up the idea of an affair in the first place.

 I explain this to people soon after I meet them. But some insiders still look at me as the “Big Bad Wolf” and feel sorry for the person who went on to SugarDaddy.com. The only things in this life that I feel bad for is 1) eloping, because my dad should have given me away and my mom should have had the pleasure of snarling at my future ex-husband from the front row. 2)  Moving back in with my mom after leaving my husband. And 3) risking the friendship that I had with my best friend by selfishly believing she was being honest when she asked for the life I chose. I knew better when she didn’t and I did it anyways. Regardless of what anyone says, the love was there. It just wasn’t enough like she wanted to prove to me it was. That time I was “The Big Bad Wolf”. I just hope she knows I’m sorry.