Can anyone say "REJECTED" Ouch!

A buddy of mine had been dating a person for over two months. She claimed that this person was everything she had ever dreamed of in a mate. He has a level head, a career, realistic ambitions, big heart and was more than mildly attractive. So, me being the caring friend I am, I asked how everything was going with this person. She said, “He bit the dust!”

“What!” I exclaimed. “You said he was good money!”

“Any money is good money nowadays.” She whined. “You don’t know what it’s like to get rejected. You always get what you want. Who’d fuck over Mother Earth?” (Apparently no one told her about the hole in the ozone layer.)

Now, a couple of months ago two things would have happened. 1) I would have agreed that I don’t get rejected and 2) I would have spouted off a few cliché’s all boiling down to “Anyone who can’t see your splendor doesn’t deserve you”. But life has an annoying way of forcing one to reevaluate their truths…..

I had been talking to a person who I’ll name Cautious for the sake of name-calling and not putting me on blast. Here I was thinking we were getting to know each other and even falling for each other. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was telling her about my ex who I then lived with and was trying to help get her life back together because I love so hard. I was exclaiming about all my big-hearted/ open-minded ambitions, my free spirit and my three beautiful boys that I wanted to leave an empire. Ironically, what Cautious was hearing is that I didn’t know how to let go of the past and I obviously had a debilitating co-dependent relationship with my ex. AND,  if I didn’t get that straight I’d never reach my full potential so all my other plans are downhill from there. Bad part is that she didn’t think to inform me of this. I broke off even the friendship after realizing I was in that zone and didn’t want to be there. But, not even a week after we stopped talking I saw she was “in love” from her posting on FaceBook.com. Can anyone say “REJECTED”. Ouch!

Fact is, what I was too co-dependent to realize is that shit is shit. People who get rejected are usually doing one of three things: 1) shitting all over their house, 2) not cleaning the shit that is already hardening , or 3) allowing someone else to shit all over their house. I was number 3. My entire life I prided myself on being a lady and knowing when to leave, but I wouldn’t leave my ex to save my life. I foolishly believed her to be my best friend. I was such an idiot. But what can I say, I did it to myself.

Now I’m dating or re-dating someone who was good for all the wrong reasons back then, but is now just good for me. She put up the caution sign too. “We’ll take it slow and see what happens.” she says. Cautious is hopefully enjoying life and love. And I don’t even know where my ex is anymore. I’m so free, and it looks good on me.

So, the next time you find yourself getting rejected, put down the bucket of cookie dough/ cookie dough  ice-cream and ask yourself, “What am I doing or allowing others to do to my house that makes company not want to come over and stay a while?” You might find that you were the problem all along. The best part about that is “If you’re the problem, then you can also be the solution.” Who knows, maybe I’ll grow enough to invite Cautious and her love on a double date…probably not. But maybe I’ll request her friendship again on FaceBook.com.  You know, after the sting wares off. Thanks Cautious.